till the day in NS

everything looks fine so far.......
besides that so called "idiotic" people fight in dewan makan....
until we all also kena denda midnite....kawad wtf.....pumping n bla bla bla

well okay after the holidays
I lost hope...and i letak jawatan my one bar pangkat down to someone
cause I really lost interest in everything all of sudden
sorry bravo team..I'm that bad....sigh

....now another stupiak problem....
one of my someone unknow got into accident...
one of them knee cap broke....
glass hit into the head...what the heck?
and yea i cried...stupid van go and bang gosh....
I dont know what to do....either to visit them by skipping m16 or what...
I was panic....I could'nt sleep the whole night......sitting outside of the dome...wondering...
I have to make a choice.....is just to sad and i broke down....I reallyon`t know who to look to...
well I am evil enough to make this stupid choice to shoot m16 T__T sorry

the next day 3 people lost their handphone.....
one is from Alpha, Charlie and Delta....
and the comander said whoever doesnt wants to give back the handphone....
we all can't shoot m16 wtf??
than the next morning......instead of having class....
suddenly that pengumuman said....erhatian kepada semua wira.....kamu dikehendaki memakai full loreng.....dan pergi ke padang kawad lama...huh??
I felt something not right....yeah by the way I brought two handphone....
N82 give teacher keep....and one old phone is in my bag....
than I took the handphone along....very well sure enough sudden spotcheck...olala
manage to hide my hp ....everything goes well...some of my friend kena kantoi for rokok and handphone...
sadly those who kena caught for all these cant shoot m16 so yeah.....
we went to bentong to shoot m16...with only 20 freaking bullets =,=
not enough argh.....only got 8 bullets in the target and the rest don't know fly where liao =X

haiz thx god nothing critical hapen to the one that had in the accident...sad enough he can't walk
now don't ask me where the hell am I......all i know is I am still somewhere in another state...
freak it out can't believe that I'm still in that place...
hopefully it could cure as fast sigh.....

PS= I seriously don't know wha are you thinking....but but....I don't know how to say zzz

Till the day back to ns

sometimes i am jealous of what i see......
looks like im gona continue my ns zzz
but bringing my laptop along.....my N82...yeah a big risk so what?
nah don`t give a damn at all...but as long i have celcom broadband wit me...yeah
I can live with it =D.......haiz.....I still stuck with it...
I really don`t know what to do with it....things getting from bad to even WORST!!!
well well well let's see.....sigh....
I don't know where to put my damn face sometimes I would like to wear a mask juz to hide it...
I even lost confident to face my friend....I don't know why.....
hmm sometimes to be alone is better.....cause I am used to it so yea....
from now on I don't have any direction where shoud I go or what I want to be....
I just lost my own direction and I lost my mind sometimes
sometimes i just got so piss of with myself......
I got screw up by my dad and my mom..yea both side.....
just felt like leaving the house...and walk out alone....to find my own destiny.....
hopefully everything will change...and yea....hopefully i can meet with u again....
Just pray for it...everything will be fine T_T

everything goes down
this year is really not a good year
from a cheerful to a cold....
the old time is back....
evil to evil is alwayz the best
the face which doesnt show any feelings...
heartless...
cold hearted....
heartless words were just words...
nothing i could say cuz my mouth couldnt move at all
i admit that im not good enough
and yeah.........didnt u said when u are strong u have to fight....
thats why im not strong i do not challange...
i fight with myself...when i walk...i walk alone....
when i fight....i fight alone.....are you in the hurry to die?
regret nothing.....Successful is the will to trample others in order to rule..
friends? Companion? All this comes n goes......
trust nobody.......surprise?
Im not that kind fellow that u think....that was the fake Wisely
the real one is evil....lies...cheat....steal......full wit hatred.....the one that has been curse and despair...
uncertainty.....even i lost trust on myself.....and i dont know what to do with myself....
I don't know who to turn to.....in a broken family where i couldnt trust anyone
things are geting complicated.....
the one who walk down to the wrong path and receive his faith
I don't want to forget myself...I want to be as I am.....
Do you know how torn up am I?
Is just like a knife that pierce through my heart....
It just feel like I am waiting for my coffin and go down 6feet down the ground
My effort is meaningless.....I was juz like a ghost standing by a wall
Is juz happen like an illusion
Is not worth at all.......I am seriously dont know what to do.....
The best is.....forget it and move on...I will wait and see.......
Time will tells.......till the day ends.....goodbye days

but i was lucky that you are still there for me......all the best bro =)