Tuesday, February 24, 2009

300 SPARTAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Then again, it is a Friday night. Hell may be overbooked..."

The Geek city-state of Sparta(aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!) was the next in line to be conquered by the Iranians. Stressed about what to do, even after consulting a few Emperor Leonidas clones, King Gorgon had this conversation with his (quite hot) wife after having sex:
Leonidas: What must I do to defend SPARTAAAAAAAAA!?!
Gorgon: I think you should have hot gay sex with three hundred 299 other men.
Leonidas: (Misheard) Yes! I shall go to the Hot Gates with three hundred other men!
Gorgon: Fuck.
there is another conversation with the guy who nobody gives a shit about, let's call him fucknut
Fucknut: Das is modness.
LEONIDAS: FUCK YOU, AND YOU AND YOU! *Leonidas kicks a lot of random people off in the pit*
another where Xerxes sends one of his Messengers:
Messenger: Hey, Leonidas, Xerxes says surrender or die.
Leonidas: Fuck you, bitch!! *Reveals his legendary Shit Cannon*
Messenger: You don't threaten the messenger! This is madness!!
Leonidas: Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!!! *Activates the Shit Cannon*
Leonidas: Die a shitty death in the pit!!
Messenger: ARRRRGH!!!
Sparta daily activities:
Beware of Sparta Pigeon
Sparta doin some hip-hop style

Sparta used to be a terrorist. LOL
***Sorry for the vulgar words LOL like you never use it before ==

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Statue of Liberty

To thank the United States for their help in liberating France from the ravages of Napoleon in 1812, King Leng Lui XIII decided to commission a spectacular monument as a gift to the Americans. The statue was originally meant to be modelled after Big Mama posing nude on a Kawasaki H2R, but this incredibly stupid idea was decided against at the last minute.
Finally, after nearly a century of false starts, in 1903 France shipped their masterpiece (via UFO) to New York City Harbor where it was unveiled to the American people. When it turned out to be a lousy 150 feet (46 meters) tall piece of copper, the Americans laughed derisively, causing no end of embarrassment to the French delegation. Just one year later, real American sculptors did a proper job of it by making a scale replica of the original statue 1,000 times as tall (28 miles (46 km)) and carved out of solid gold.
The attack by Linkin Park
In 2008, the Statue of Liberty was attacked by Linkin Park. The attack failed when Metallica released their album Pastor of Muppets, which made Linkin Park cry when played very loudly.

Liberty Finger
The American sculpture modified this Statue of Liberty to Liberty Finger. This statue represent the Finger of Justice!!! It is believe that this sign will give peace and freedom from the Darth side, Darth Vader. dot dot dot Wisely is lack of brain idea cells so don`t know what to write =X =X

Thursday, February 19, 2009


[c=12]♥Jqi loves her piano..♥[/c] says:
if oni a few den can mention my name gua
warning warning beware of gigantic penguin in smkbbsp!!!

Penguinja, or ninja penguins, as they are more commonly known, are some of the most secretive and stealthy ninjas in existence. Some people claim that they don't exist, but that is only because ninja penguins are so good at hiding. Some people believe that Jacqueline creates the martial art called PENGUINJA!!!!

Wearing hoods to disguise their penguin appearance, they infiltrate your home while you're out and take up residence in your refrigerator, behind all the moldy leftovers that you're never going to eat. The next time you open your refrigerator, they leap out from behind the Tupperware and kill you using their secret Mad Ninja Skillz techniques. No one knows why they do this. Do they want something belonging to their victim? Are they assassins, hired by an enemy of the victim? Do they simply enjoy killing? Are they on a mission to eliminate people who don't clean out their refrigerators? It is a mystery which, sadly, shall probably remain forever unsolved, since most people who have seen a ninja penguin have not lived to tell the tale.

Beware, penguinja target disbelievers.
The best ways to prevent a Ninja Penguin from killing you are the following:
-Leave an offering of fresh fish with marshmallows on your doorstep.
-Never leave your house.
-Clean out your refrigerator frequently, or, just don't own a refrigerator.
-Buy or build a giant robot with which to defend yourself.
-Throw disks of various Linux distros at it as a distraction.
-Dump water on it or it will spit Acid out it's mouth!
-Put a C4 in your refrigerator
-Put a shark in your refrigerator so that it can eat up the penguinja

However, none of these are foolproof, and many of these things have proved not to be an obstacle in the face of the penguinja's Mad Ninja Skillz.
Additionally, there's some sort of rubbish mulling about that penguinja aren't mammals. This is an obvious attempt to exclude them from the ranks of ninja by the Warlocks, their primary rivals. The Walocks promote the idea that penguinjas are actually flightless birds. Penguinjas are not birds although they can fly.

The first Penguin Army of Doom was established in Sri Petaling, Kuala Lumpur in 1993A.D., and was led by General Happy Feet JACQUELINE. General JACQUELINE was a trilingual, speaking Penguinish, and Latin. At first, the small army suffered the pain of deprivation. Soon, Colonel Penggus kahyan =X (a rather uneducated penguin who spoke only broken Penguinish) came up with the brilliant idea of advertising, and posted these campaign posters all throughout Sri Petaling. Unfortunately, these signs were soon retired because the words "of doom" had been extracted, and too many non-evil penguins were enlisting. this resulted in the death of many inocent dolphins, the arch-enemy of most non-evil penguins. dolphins were hunted down, and slaying before the eyes of the family, just to be shot to the moon. One simply can not imagine the horrible pain the dolphins must have been in, whilst there guts where leaving the body, in ways they where not ment to. It must have been horrible, HORRIBLE! And if a dolphin loving person would read this he would most certainly not like it. At all. he would be crying right now, because what happened to the poor litle dolphins was too damn painfull, and, oh, the awfull trauma they must have suffered, must be horible. HORIBLE! OH NOES, HOW THE POOR LIL BASTARDS MUST HAVE SUFFERED! IS BECAUSE OF THE PENGUINS.....nah out of topic

Today, Penguin Armies of Doom are only found in Antarctica, as that was the only place where penguins could go and not be ridiculed by society. On some gogolem for saken rock in Antarctica is the sacred statue of Penggus Maxximus, where all members of the modern Penguin Army of Doom are required to sit in front of and stare blankly at for thirty seconds a year. If a penguin loses its concentration while doing so, it has to waddle eighty miles back to the coastline and try again next season.


The Penquins have two distinct leaders and a number of various "Super-Penquins" (Captain Penquin, WolverPenquin, BatPenquin, CatPenquin, PenquinPenquin etc.) but these are basically Penquin versions of other Superhero's. The proper Leader's are Mrs. Jacqueline.

Mrs. Jacqueline

One of Satan's girl, Feathers is currently undergoing peace talk with America. These ended last week with Feathers going into hand to hand combat with Barrack Obama. Feathers got out by the skin of her super beak but did give President Obama a nasty taste. Feathers is currently organising his armies in the South and North Pole's but he sends regular super beak missiles to various parts of the globe in an attempt to scare other countries.


In 2020, Ultimate Overlord Penguin gathered together the Penguin Armies of Doom and became the general of the entire Army. Touring all over Antarctica, the United Overseas Penguin made many vigorous speeches across the frozen continent, saying that the entire planet of Earth will have to be conquered by the penguins. Whinney the POOH, leading his military penguin followers on marches all over Antarctica, shouted, "Deodorants are made of white chocolate Wheeeeee!" while wearing ladies' underpants on his head. The penguins have hailed her as the most heroic penguin ever alive.

YES. They're raiding my house of all underwear as we speak! Why doesn't Mr. SHARK do something before it's too late?!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


Scott "Cyclops"- Called the cyclops for his tendency to show people his one red eyed monster, Scott gets his kicks by shooting off his one-eyed load.

Ororo "Storm" Moron- Ororo is the first character we get to see change. In the 80's she is a skinny punk boy with a mohawk, but by the 90's she had a full head of hair. This drama queen controls the weather. Her most famous line is "Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? LOL

"Wolverine"- A complete asshole who has a genetic condition that involves his fingernails to grow like mUtHa@u#K@r. He defeats his enemies by repeatedly stabbing and then molesting them. He is also a skilled pianist jut like Beethoveen....=.O"

"Gambit"- This flaming joker is quite the card player. He has the power to be so gay that it charges his cards. The result of being hit by the card is a gay-explosion. Unfortunately being a member of the X-men didn't work out for Gambit mainly because he and Wolverine both had a gay crush on Cyclops. Gambit moved to Las Vegas, where he got into trouble with the the mafia.....out of idea zzz skip to next

Note: It has been confirmed that the "X" was stolen from X-files and is currently in copyright....
The X-Men Administration

= Professor X-Who lost use of his legs when his step-brother David Beckham teamed up with yet a third step sibling named turkey and used him to make a wish after a Thanksgiving dinner.

= Father X-mas-Who gained his powers after being pissed off by Santa Claus.

= Mega Man X - Retired from Dr. Light's group of Y-Men to join the X-Men. Looks okay in a rock.

= Sonic X - Who joined to avenge the deaths of Tails with the EggMan!!!

= Xbox - Former vice president of Planet X that creates this Xbox software to help X-men to go clubbing.

= Xbox 360 -The leader formally known as Xbox.


As a teenager, Eminem was uncertain what he wanted to be when he grew up. For a long time, he interned with the M&Ms chocolate costume. (However, he was too tall to fit in the outfit, and was forced to join a diffrent section of the business and become a wrapper. His family thought he meant “rapper”, and helped him find his way into his current career. Near the beginning of his music career, he contracted the E-virus, which causes its victims to write all of their capital E’s as Ǝ. Later in life, he had a skin transplant, and officially turned into a black man.

EminƎm is known for songs about hating his mother, beating his wife, disliking homosexuals and saying the F-word. He has become an icon to woman abusers, and bums universally. This hatred also popularized the term “wife-basher” (for white tank-tops).
nah a short one out of idea eno eno eno wheeee

Dragonball Z craps!!!

Son Goku

Goku, AKA the world depository for hair gel, is a Monkey Man. Despite crash landing on Earth when he was sent from a dying planet by his parents. He has a energy technique where he shouts “CUMINGCUMINGYAH!!!” that he uses to blast his enemies, which he only does once everyone else is dead. Goku is also a deadbeat dad without a job and at the end of the series he leaves his family and friends and goes to Tim Batu. He is also a rabid supporter of pie and eating insanely fast with chopsticks. It is determined later in the show that Goku with a car is more dangerous than Goku, and that he could have easily killed Fliza if he had drove his car to Namek, although it still would have taken 100 episodes. It is well known that Goku can destroy all of existence merely by scratching his balls. Never ever touch Goku’s balls. LOL =X =X

An illegal, big head alien from Antarctica. He got into a fight with Goku. He makes 4 transformations:
2nd Form: Grows to two stories tall
3rd form: Shrinks down to 1 story tall
Final Form: Turns microscopic
100% Full Power: Becomes smaller than an atom. Levels buildings by pulling out the bottom brick. LOL

Son Gohan
Goku’s first son who, thanks to Piccolo’s intensive training involving Hindu squats, managed to help get rid of Cell. His “abilities”, however, often cause the other retards he hangs around with to feel jealous and yell strange things at him, along the lines of “SONNN OFFFFF A BIIIIIITCH!!!!!” After yelling these things, he gets really angry and becomes the strongest dog on the planet for about 12 episodes.

Despite many beliefs, Piccolo is actually a Pakistani illegal immigrant posing as a green alien to trick the CTU (counter terrorist united or whatever it called). into thinking he is really “saving the world” or something like that. Many people have described him as “a green high-pitched flute”, who taught Gohan how to use his powers to slaughter enemies, whilst Goku went on vacation with Raditz(Goku`s bro). Rumor has it his training methods are quite different from normal techniques used and include beating up schoolgirls with large sledgehammers. His powers come from the mysterious power of Dunkin Donuts. He is named after a Pickle. Piccolo also worked at a hotel as a picolo. He enjoyed the work until Goku came to the hotel and got Piccolo fired for bad work. After that, Piccolo kidnapped Goku’s fourth son, Gok-chi, and turned him against Goku, now Goku and Piccolo are friends and room-mates. Crapz s zzzz

Majin Buu
Buu is really fat and sometimes he’s really thin - a trait only seen in humans like The Shrek. However, he’s not human, and is actually made out of bubble gum. The Buu saga is about Goku trying to find the Bazooka Joe Comic inside him.


Vegeta is a militant pacifist, the last of the Donkey man. Vegeta sells vegetable every morning in the markey. During the final battle with Ultraman, the cowardly prince threw away his pride, willingly giving his life energy to his wife, Britney Spears. Prince Vegeta died after the battle with Optimus Prime.

The smallest organ of the human body, he has many brothers (billions as a matter of fact) and was composed mostly of water and dissolved proteins. He killed Goku once in a dream. He took many episodes to kill (being so small) and had an entire saga devoted to him. Cell was also a well-known sexual cell, attempting with any living creature that crossed his path. After Goku put an end to his mad humping spree, he eventually died by overdosing on Viagra. LOL!!!!!

Goku stands victory when he challanges Fliza with his ultimate technique!!!! WOW!!!

Hairstyle of Cloud Strife

Cloud unsual hairstyle was obtained when he was a child and he stuck his er em whatever the hell you call it into an electrical @$$&0/e. It also fried his brain which explains why he isn’t all that smart. One time when he was going to slick his hair back, but he cut his wrist on one of the sharp spikes which almost led to his untimely death but luckily he was saved by a leprechaun(a short guy u know what i mean thou) who threw himself upon the wound until the blood was too scared to come out anymore. Son Gokou claims that Cloud stole his hairstyle and his whole look, so they’re fought!!!! But unfortunately Son Gokou lost because he was attack by Pikachu and KABOOM!!! OPPS =X
Cloud and Sephiroth used to be very close. One fateful night they were sent to Germany, to investigate the Hair Gel Reactor built by Shinra. Cloud went in with black hair and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and found Sephiroth gone. Sephiroth had finally gone mad with jealousy after realizing that Cloud’s hairstyle had beaten his in the fashion polls. As revenge, Sephiroth had stolen his hairgel, dyed Cloud’s hair yellow and ran off crying to his mother.
Cloud pursued Sephiroth up to the hair gel reactor and pushed him into the gelstream not lifestream kay, something which should kill anyone by overslicking their hair. Years later, Sephiroth came back for revenge and tried to take over the moon. Cloud decided to stop him and finally met him under the crater in the north.
Here, Cloud came into contact with the gelstream and which granted him amazing powers. He was infused with Holy hairgel and suddenly gained the power of Hyper-super-mega-ultimate-ridiculous-mad-inferno-elephant-gigantic-uber-ultimate-kick-ass-hole-Omnislash. Holy SHIT!!!
Unsurprisingly, Sephiroth died. Twice.


Spider-Man is a man, but also a bit spider. Spider-man’s secret identity is Peter Parker , his physical features are mainly human , like his entire body, however he has the ability to create a web out of a white substance that nobody knows the name of. Spider-man also has the ability to lay eggs, he does this during the day, which explains what the hell Peter Parker does in his free time. He fights crime in New York City, which is apparantly populated entirely by villains, extras and Bruce Campbell.

According to legend, Spider-man can do anything a spider can. This includes climbing walls, sucking massive meat, spinning webs and getting squashed by giant shoes. He has the proportional strength of a spider. Apparently this makes him very strong, but that’s hard to swallow because most spiders are a bit flimsy. Spider-man is not very good at getting out of the bath. Spiderman can hold many Ectasy pills up his nose, he uses this power to transport drugs through out the city of new york for 5 dollars an hour.
Despite being a brilliant young scientist Peter @#$ker never graduated due to a cocaine addiction, and this may have contributed to the misery he was prey to, his long depressions and his emo phases.
Green Goblin was also a bit of a failure with women. His relationship with MJ was characterized by plenty of nooky but also several deaths, misunderstandings and arguments.
Causing the death of Gwen Stacey by annoying the Green Goblin was all Spidey’s fault, and he knew it and agonized over it for minutes.
In addition to Spidey’s own C0@#-ups, the press was antipathetic to the arachnoid avenger, with headlines like “Spidey could do better”, and “It wasn’t Spidey’s fault that terrorists blew up the World Trade Center”. Faced with a barrage of criticism from within and without Spider-man spiraled into a deep depression. He started to cut himself with broken glass while listening to emo songs.
Spider-Man’s beloved aunt May then got shot, and he said this is his fault because he thought telling all of his worst enemies and the world that he was really Peter F@#ker would be a brilliant move. This lead to an error of an evil bully Spider-Man. Shortly after, Buggy-man, who is just sort of Marvel Comic’s version of Satan, told him to “give me all of your love!” since Mary Jane and him were so great together. Spider-Man said “let me concider this further, ol’chap.” Eventually Spider-Man said “OK, take my memories of my love.” Mary Jane says “OK” too “but I want to whisper something.” Then Buggy-man and Jim Carrey said “OK I’ll erase reality to what I want it where you never really married Mary Jane but you lived with her (same difference, sorta), and hahahahha! I’m the devil and this lil’ ghost girl is your daughter!” Yeah.
Peter cried in tears again but when he woke up, he was in a world where he bummed off his aunt May again and life was great because he could make jokes, make stupid enemies that were awful, and someone could maybe or maybe not be Mary Jane as a superhero.
Moral: Marvel says it is OK to make deals with the devil, because that is cooler than killing off Mary Jane or separating them because of life endangerment. LOL LOL LOL crab too much!!!

Spiderman has died several times but never very severely. Fortunately, he gets two extra-lives every now and then while fighting venom. The closest he ever came to permanent death was whilst attempting to impregnate Spider-Woman. But female spiders bite the heads off their mates after impregnation and Spide-man had already shot his web-fluid several times that day, and was unable to empty his egg-sac, thus saving his head.

World War 2 The Battle of Mickey Mouse!!!

During WWII, Mickey rose to power as a high ranking SS officer in charge of twelve Nazi units. His war career began with the creation of the Mickey rifle and continued up until the final days of the war when he killed Hitler by raping him with his 27 foot long Stick and stole the Nazi secret stash of milk. This very milk was hidden by his master, WaltDisney, in the Small World ride at Disneyland, where it has remained ever since. It has been rumored that the key to the milk can be found in the song, but anyone who has tried deciphering the code has died of severe asshole rape and brain failure. During a short stint onboard a submarine he began a short.
Mickey was known throughout the German population as the infamous “Der Maus,” (The Rat”)and his catch phrase “DIE NOOB!!” could be found on many leaflets distributed by the Seven Dwarves to unsuspecting French. During the siege of @#$%, Der Mouse could be seen screeming squeeky curses and flatulating in the general direction of his enemy’s castle. These skills boosted his troops’ mana points to a whopping over 9000 and provided them with max weapons and infinite ammo.
Mickey Mouse was also said to have battled Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Stephen Chow in a 3 on 1 kung fu battle to decide the fate of the universe. The mouse nearly won, until Barack Obama warped to the past and killed him by luring him to a giant mouse trap filled with smoked gouda cheese.
However, thanks to tickets to Disneyland costing upwards of 800 dollars and using cheap Chinese sweatshop labor to build very poor Tigger plush dolls and one size fits all Goofy hats, he was later cloned and swore revenge against the three wise men. These men were known as Bugs Bummy, Buzz Lightyear, and Woody Wood Pecker.

KLCC woW!!

Petronas Twin Tower also known locally as KLCC is the most important building in Malaysia. In Malay it is called Menara Berkembar Petronas or KL-Zee-Zee.. It also known as Frozen Tower of Petronas for many DotA players. It is made of corns. On a clear day (like when there is no haze from Sumatera) the towers are visible from Jakarta, attracting hundreds of thousands Indons every year. That’s how tall it is! The blinking light of the towers is frequently used by Indonesian planes as guide for direction. There are frequent crashes during hazy nights.
After adding the ‘onion head’ to the Twin Towers design like a co#0#. The architect was sacked by the Prime Minister and detained by the ISA for a few years. Later, the C0##0m Twin Towers were modified to look like the current model, the Jagung, or Rocket Twin Towers.
Malaysia’s dream to build and launch its own rocket into space is still, sadly, a pathetic joke, but it is believed that the future design of any rocket will closely resemble the Twin Towers. In fact, during its construction, the CIA suspected the Petronas Twin Towers of being a missile with a payload of mass destruction.
anyway is juz a crazy joke okay…==