Wednesday, February 18, 2009

World War 2 The Battle of Mickey Mouse!!!

During WWII, Mickey rose to power as a high ranking SS officer in charge of twelve Nazi units. His war career began with the creation of the Mickey rifle and continued up until the final days of the war when he killed Hitler by raping him with his 27 foot long Stick and stole the Nazi secret stash of milk. This very milk was hidden by his master, WaltDisney, in the Small World ride at Disneyland, where it has remained ever since. It has been rumored that the key to the milk can be found in the song, but anyone who has tried deciphering the code has died of severe asshole rape and brain failure. During a short stint onboard a submarine he began a short.
Mickey was known throughout the German population as the infamous “Der Maus,” (The Rat”)and his catch phrase “DIE NOOB!!” could be found on many leaflets distributed by the Seven Dwarves to unsuspecting French. During the siege of @#$%, Der Mouse could be seen screeming squeeky curses and flatulating in the general direction of his enemy’s castle. These skills boosted his troops’ mana points to a whopping over 9000 and provided them with max weapons and infinite ammo.
Mickey Mouse was also said to have battled Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Stephen Chow in a 3 on 1 kung fu battle to decide the fate of the universe. The mouse nearly won, until Barack Obama warped to the past and killed him by luring him to a giant mouse trap filled with smoked gouda cheese.
However, thanks to tickets to Disneyland costing upwards of 800 dollars and using cheap Chinese sweatshop labor to build very poor Tigger plush dolls and one size fits all Goofy hats, he was later cloned and swore revenge against the three wise men. These men were known as Bugs Bummy, Buzz Lightyear, and Woody Wood Pecker.

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